More cash for Rhyl on Sea Black Hole."

RHYL on Sea is to receive yet another gigantic funding boost as part of a desperate last-ditch effort to breathe new life into depraved and deprived areas of the town.
It is hoped that this latest £9 million regeneration initiative will revitalise the derelict seafront area and provide the necessary cash to clean up used needles and broken bottles from the beach.
It may also provide a second, entirely unnecessary bridge for cyclists to pass over the heavily polluted Horrid Harbour.

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Slave Revolt in Rhyl on Sea"

Rhyl on Sea civic authorities are formulating a response to industrial action by Vietnamese domestic slaves, who this week rebelled against their owners and staged a sit in protest, demanding the right to return home.
The so called "dirty dozen," who were lured to the seaside resort with promises of work as IT professionals, say they are upset at being forced into servitude as maids and de facto sexual servants, have demanded the Vietnamese Embassy intervene on their behalf.

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Piracy epidemic is "Zionist plot"

Brutal pirate raids, which have crippled shipping in and around the Irish Sea are the responsibility of Zionist conspirators, bent on bringing the world to its knees according to a prominent politician.

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Rhyl on Sea Plunged into chaos by Freak Weather Conditions

ROADS were closed and businesses sent home early after devastating floods hit Rhyl on Sea last Tuesday.
Banks, schools, newspapers and shops were left deserted and immigrant labourers left their work-camps, carrying mattresses on their backs and fled to higher ground to escape the flood-waters that swept all before them.

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Kazakhstani terrorist found hiding in Rhyl on Sea

Kazakhstani police scouring the world for terrorists who let off a series of bombs in their capital city last month,
have denied a snatch and grab operation rumoured to have taken place in rhyl on Sea yesterday.

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Crazed tramp claims identity stolen by giant spider

A MAN, found naked and wandering along Rhyl on Sea?s beach last weekend, claims that his identity has been stolen by a malevolent spider.
The 46 year old, known to police as John Doe, was thought to be under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs when he was arrested for indecency early on Saturday morning.
But after a series of blood tests in Rhyl on sea police station, he was found to have no illegal substances in his system.

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Roadside guardian hangs up hi-vis jacket after accident horror

A MUCH loved lollipop lady has resigned from her post after being mown down by rogue drivers for the last time.

Veteran roadside stalwart, Dora Cefndy has been guiding youngsters across one of Rhyl on Sea's most dangerous thoroughfares for more than two decades but finally decided to throw in the towel after her 19th hospitalisation.

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Hundreds killed in Rhyl on Sea Pterodactyl Attack

SHOPPERS were forced to flee for their lives as a hostile Pterodactyl attacked passers by in Rhyl-on-Sea High street.
Police, ambulance crews and fire engines were directed to the scene shortly after 1.30pm after receiving a frantic telegram from charity shop worker, Hazel Elwy.
But the scene that greeted the emergency services was a grim one, with body parts piled up outside the card shop and the Pterodactyl nowhere in sight.

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Injuries at violent sports tournament

There was turmoil at the weekend and three people
had to be taken to Rhyl-on-Sea Underground Hospital after a riot
erupted at the Annual Penny Pushing Championships.

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