Joooos blamed for chaos on the high seas

Brutal pirate raids, which have crippled shipping in and around the Irish Sea are the responsibility of Zionist conspirators, bent on bringing the world to its knees according to a prominent politician.
In the past six months, more than 240 tankers and container vessels heading to Rhyl on Sea from around the globe have been seized at gunpoint by hordes of balaclava-wearing youths using rocket propelled grenades and AK-47 assault rifles to subdue the vessels.
Their traditional method of attack is to approach the ships rapidly in custom-built speed boats, before slinging grappling hooks over the side and scrambling over the bulwarks.
The attacks are thought to be costing Rhyl on Sea up to $15m per day and until recently, it was believed that uncouth Manx adolescents were responsible.

But it has now emerged that a sinister Jewish group sponsored by Israel may be behind the outrages in a devious plot to destabilise North Wales.

"All the evidence is there if you look really, really hard for it," said Rhyl on Sea deputy Minister of Information Iolo bin Griffiths. "The events around our waters point to an Israeli hand, especially in globalising the issue of security of the Irish Sea and Liverpool Bay. The illegitimate, terrorist state is clearly trying to destabilise our economy before extending large bailout loans and incorporating North Wales into Greater Israel as mentioned in the Protocols of Zion.
"This pernicious idea preoccupies the mind of each and every Israeli politician regardless of his party or the official statements he makes. Israeli politicians still believe in this theory and dream of making it a reality one day."

Despite there being absolutely no evidence of this conspiracy, the theory has taken hold in the minds of many North Walians, who still burn with hatred at the memory of several humiliating military defeats, despite outnumbering and out-gunning the tiny nation in every battle.
Fervent golfer and beloved local raconteur John Thomas, told Seaside News, "The damned Jews are responsible for this, there's absolutely no doubt about it, just like they were responsible for the credit crunch, both world wars, and the lack of unity among the Arabs. We should crucify the lot of them. Hanging's too good for those scum."
But there is still some doubt among the citizens of Rhyl on Sea and some traitorous doubters are not convinced that the attacks are part of a Zionist scheme to rule the world.
Ethnic minority and token Jew, Essa al Zedjali called on his adopted countrymen to see sense.
"Don't be so bloody daft," he said. "It's quite blatantly Manx kids having a laugh. Look, you can see all the stolen ships in Douglas Harbour and what kind of pirate insults his captives by calling them "Jialgane", anyhow."
It is possible that the confusion may have arisen when one of the pre-pubescent buccaneers used the word "Jouish" while cutting the anchors on a Portuguese man of war.

Jouish is a Manx word meaning a hand held pair of shears.