Claims of abuse poo-pooed by embassy staff

Rhyl on Sea civic authorities are formulating a response to industrial action by Vietnamese domestic slaves, who this week rebelled against their owners and staged a sit in protest, demanding the right to return home.

The so called "dirty dozen," who were lured to the seaside resort with promises of work as IT professionals, say they are upset at being forced into servitude as maids and de facto sexual servants, have demanded the Vietnamese Embassy intervene on their behalf.
The girls, all aged between 14 and 21 say they have a right to basic human dignity - a concept still unknown in Rhyl on Sea and wages equal to what they were promised. Or any wages at all.

"It's not right that we have to live like this," said rebel ringleader Looly Chu. "When we signed up, back in Saigon we thought we were heading for a better life here in North Wales. I was going to be sending money home to my family and I thought that maybe I'd meet a nice Welsh boy.
"Instead, I'm forced to cook and clean, look after other people's children and have sex on demand. When I'm not in use, they lock me in the basement with the cockroaches.
"They took my cellphone off me and they've burned my passport. Please, please I just want to go home."

Now on hunger strike, Looly and her communist compadres are planning to set themselves alight if they are not contacted by the Vietnamese Labour attache within seven days.
And their unjustified protest seems to be spreading, with "housemaids" from a number of different Asian nations refusing to succumb to their masters' perfectly reasonable conjugal demands.
Sales of compliance items such as cattle prods, bullwhips and manacles have all shot through the roof over the last week as desperate and frustrated owners, some of whom have paid up to �750 for bonded servants, try to restore order in their households.

Rhyl on Sea's Labour Minister, John Patricio, insists there is no cause for alarm and laughed off calls for a UN investigation into human rights abuses.
"Oh come on, they know what they're signing up for before they get on the plane," he told Seaside News while being licked by two whip-scarred 17-year-olds. "It's a widely accepted fact that IT professional is a euphemism for domestic abusee. OK, so it's not actually written down, but everybody knows it.
"And this business about getting sent back home - well, that's not going to happen is it? I mean really, people have paid good money for these ladies, if we're being asked to send them back, everybody will want a refund and there's no way they'll be able to give iot to us, because we don't pay them any money. Logic innit?
"Besides, this issue with the basement is pure nonsense. There are very few basements in Rhyl on Sea, I keep my girls strapped to the wall in the attic."

Seaside News contacted the Vietnamese embassy, who claimed ignorance of the strike, saying, "Having these girls working overseas is a sound economic proposition for Vietnam. Not only does it provide those left behind with a sound economic boost, but it also helps relieve the massive overcrowding in our cities.
"If there was a problem and I'm not saying there is mind, I wouldn't want to upset the trade links between Wales and Vietnam. There are ways of getting girls to do what you want. Use them."