Victim had irresistible urge for munchies

MEMBERS of a sinister travelling circus have been blamed for the recent rise in invisible tiger attacks in Rhyl on sea.

Over the last fortnight, residents have been afraid to leave their houses and shutters remain closed on business throughout the town. And people forced by necessity to leave their houses on important errands have to run the gauntlet of attacks by unseen savage beasts.

Well known local pillow stuffer Derek Mold, 45, died in hospital last night after a sustained attack by see-through felines in the woods near his home.
It is thought that Mr Mold left the safety of his secure bunker for an illicit doughnut munching session with his teenage mistress Nicola Fflint.

"We hadn't had the chance for weeks because of this tiger scare and Derek was going out of his mind," revealed the nubile 17 year old. "We were both gagging for it and arranged by text for some hardcore confectionery action near the edge of the forest.
"We just never thought it would happen. I mean - no-one's even seen an invisible tiger have they?"

Police say it is likely that the beasts were attracted to the area by Miss Fflint's ecstatic moans as she was fed delicious sugared dough by her lover.

Mr Mold is the second casualty of invisible tigers in as many weeks and police are now saying that the razor clawed beasts may have been deliberately loosed by circus owners to hunt down animal rights activists.

"We can confirm that we are pursuing leads in connection with an unusually large travelling show in the area," a police spokesman revealed. "The big top style circus has been travelling around Europe for a number of years and has until recently listed invisible tigers among their acts.
"We believe that recent protests against cruelty to elephants may have prompted the syphilitic ringmaster to unleash the animals."

Itinerant gypsies, tramps and thieves have been rounded up and are currently being questioned by police

Invisible tigers are native to all parts of the world and are known to hide up trees and fall on people from above.
The striped animals have smaller claws and teeth than normal tigers and experts believe this prevents them from injuring themselves while not paying attention.