Local and World News
LOLLIPOP LADY QUITS AFTER 19 WORK INJURIES
A MUCH loved lollipop lady has resigned from her post after being mown down by rogue drivers for the last time. Veteran roadside stalwart,Dora Cefndy has been guiding youngsters across one of Rhyl on Sea's most dangerous thoroughfares for more than two decades but finally decided to throw in the towel after her 19th hospitalisation.
New Jobs Hope for Seaside Town
A WAR of words has broken out between local politicians over the siting of an industrial drugs factory to be based in Rhyl on Sea. International drugs barons have chosen the town as the headquarters for their new crystal meth operation out of six other failing seaside towns, due to the excellent harbour and eager customer base.
Kazakhstani terrorist spirited out of Rhyl on Sea by secret police.
Kazakhstani police scouring the world for terrorists who let off a series of bombs in their capital city last month, have denied a snatch and grab operation rumoured to have taken place in rhyl on Sea yesterday.
Boy Fed Crocodile to Rabbits
A MENTALLY unstable Rhyl-on-Sea teenager has been jailed indefinitely after feeding an alligator to a pack of rabbits. 19 year old Darren Spanish, of no fixed address, appeared before magistrates at Rhyl on Sea last Sunday charged with causing unnecessary suffering to the reptile.
Jewish Pirates spread Terror along North Wales Coast
Brutal pirate attacks, which have crippled shipping in and around the Irish Sea are the responsibility of Zionist conspirators, bent on bringing the world to its knees according to a prominent politician.
In the past six months, more than 240 tankers and container vessels heading to Rhyl on Sea from around the globe have been seized at gunpoint by hordes of balaclava-wearing youths using rocket propelled grenades and AK-47 assault rifles to subdue the vessels.
Community Shocked as Dismembered Bodies Found on Soccer Pitch
A QUESTION mark hangs over the future of Rhyl on Sea's all weather pitch after body parts were discovered on the playing field. The area, which is used all seasons for a variety of games, was last month closed indefinitely after the horrific discovery.
Pterodactyl Terror - Hundreds killed in horrific Rhyl on Sea horror Attack.
SHOPPERS were forced to flee for their lives as a hostile Pterodactyl attacked passers by in Rhyl-on-Sea High street. Police, ambulance crews and fire engines were directed to the scene shortly after 1.30pm after receiving a frantic telegram from charity shop worker, Hazel Elwy.
Tramp Claims Identity Stole by Giant Spider - Sentenced
A MAN, found naked and wandering along Rhyl on Sea's beach last weekend, claims that his identity has been stolen by a malevolent spider. The 46 year old, known to police as John Doe, was thought to be under the influence of hallucinogenic drugs when he was arrested for indecency early on Saturday morning.
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